Redneck Monthly
Lindsay, Ontario. I think it can be summed up pretty easily by the "Redneck Monthly," the free newsletter I picked up while I was in the "mall".
I think the best way to explain the redneck monthly is to start by duplicating their disclaimer.
"DISCLAIMER: This paper is either a SATIRE or a PARODY that contains HUMOR and is mostly PURE FICTION. It is made from 100% recycled electrons and should not to be taken internally and is NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. No animals were harmed in the making of this paper. Every joke is meant to be FUNNY. Even if you don't think it is, others do. Diversity of opinion is essential to our democracy, and so, we support pluralism, Mom, and Apple Pie."
Other choice quotes include - but are definitely not limited to:
"I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me."
"Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink."
"The World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after. He went fishing and hunting, played golf a lot, drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END"
"What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told."
And of course... the ultimate: (that's ultimate in badness... not in a good way....)
"The Doc Says...
Bob, who is homosexual, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says: 'Bob, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS.'
Bob is devastated. 'Doc, what can I do?'
'Eat 1 sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it off witha gallon of prune juice.'
Bob asks: 'Will that cure me, Doc?'
Doc says: 'No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for.'"
I think this may be the last edition of Redneck Monthly for me. Not really my scene.
I think the best way to explain the redneck monthly is to start by duplicating their disclaimer.
"DISCLAIMER: This paper is either a SATIRE or a PARODY that contains HUMOR and is mostly PURE FICTION. It is made from 100% recycled electrons and should not to be taken internally and is NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. No animals were harmed in the making of this paper. Every joke is meant to be FUNNY. Even if you don't think it is, others do. Diversity of opinion is essential to our democracy, and so, we support pluralism, Mom, and Apple Pie."
Other choice quotes include - but are definitely not limited to:
"I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me."
"Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink."
"The World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after. He went fishing and hunting, played golf a lot, drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END"
"What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told."
And of course... the ultimate: (that's ultimate in badness... not in a good way....)
"The Doc Says...
Bob, who is homosexual, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says: 'Bob, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS.'
Bob is devastated. 'Doc, what can I do?'
'Eat 1 sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it off witha gallon of prune juice.'
Bob asks: 'Will that cure me, Doc?'
Doc says: 'No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for.'"
I think this may be the last edition of Redneck Monthly for me. Not really my scene.
posted by Jodi at
10:15 p.m.
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